FRAME to FRAMES
By Caroline ChoiThere is nothing more frustrating than waiting 30 minutes in a sweaty smelly crowd to see The Mona Lisa, then to muscle to the front and realize that you can’t see a thing because A) the elitist fuckwads at the Louvre have created a 10 foot radius around the glass and B) you have astigmatism.
Before you ask, the last few times I’ve been to the optometrist, I’ve been informed that I have 20/20 vision. That’s right. There’s nothing wrong with my eyes except for the fact that my corneas have “irregular curvature”. For that reason, I have never had an excuse to actually wear glasses.
In fact, I’ve watched countless roommates bemoan their contact lens cases and bottles of solution, celebrated fulfilling one of the few astronaut requirements (though now debunked), and definitely made fun of a few chunky glasses in elementary school.
So now as I struggle to make out Mona’s smirk, I wonder: would I be a fraud for wearing frames? Does Harvard Health Insurance cover optometry? And most importantly – can glasses be fashionable?
As with most fashion assignments, I began by rewatching The Devil Wears Prada. Et voila! Front and center, Gisele Bündchen enters the Vogue office wearing thin square frames and looking slinky as fuck. That freeze frame of her, looking over her shoulder, mouth slightly ajar, wearing a chunky necklace and an ear cuff, took over TikTok earlier this year as the epitome of an “office siren”.
I did some more digging on “office sirens” and found those pap photos of Bella Hadid in those Bayonetta glasses. Who knew recovering from Lyme Disease could look that good?? Then there’s also the sexy librarian outfit from Billie’s music video, Jennie in Gentle Monster, Matilda Djerf, and our Lord and Savior Tyler the Creator in every single type of eyeglasses possible.
I remember talking to one anonymous editor at Teen Vogue who scoffed at the “clackers” from the Vogue offices who shared bathrooms and kitchens with them. They’re always wearing stilettos, leather bags, and Miu Miu reading glasses, she said. Always primping in the mirrors! (I paraphrase.) Now that we Gen-Zers are joining the workforce – god willing, may I find a job!! – it makes sense that we’d look for ways to make it fun.
Which is all to say, for those who struggle to make out the gilding on the picture frame, buy some frames for your face.
https://www.vogue.co.uk/arts-and-lifestyle/article/gisele-bundchen-devil-wears-prada
https://www.reddit.com/r/tylerthecreator/comments/w0qtc0/does_anybody_know_what_sunglasses_tyler_is/